Sprach-Gedanken einer Mutter

,,Paulchen, das ist ein Auto, es ist blau, ein blaues Auto, ein blauuuueeeessss Auto, es macht brumm, brumm und es fährt auf der Straße, da mußt Du dann ganz doll aufpassen. Sag A U T O, blaues A u t o. Welche Farbe hat unser Auto? Es ist schwarz, Paulchen, sag schwarz, schwarzes Auto. Wir haben einen neuen schwarzen VW. Er ist schnell, gaaaaannnzz schnell, sag schnell…” Diese Art von Kommunikation von Erwachsenen zu kleinen Kindern höre ich in letzter Zeit oft. Das hängt natürlich damit zusammen, dass mein Einjähriger und alle Einjährigen um ihn herum, anfangen zu sprechen. Aber wie machen sie das? Braucht es wirklich diese gut gemeinte nonstop Wortbombardierung? Muß ich wirklich so mit meinem Kind kommunizieren, damit es Kommunikation lernt? Will ich überhaupt, dass  mein Kind so sprechen lernt? Muss ich tatsächlich jede Sache, die ich tue und die ich sehe benennen und ihm das auch immer mit extra lauter und klarer Stimme kundtun? Muss ich jedesmal enthusiastisch applaudieren, brabbelt er mir nach? Kann ich nicht in Ruhe, Stille mit meinem Kind genießen und es in den Kommunikationsarten, die es schon kennt unterstützen und ebenso von ihm lernen? Muss ich wirklich so viel labern?

Versteht mich nicht falsch, ich spreche natürlich auch mit meinem Sohn und möchte ihm helfen ‘unsere’ Sprache zu lernen. Mit dem Unterschied, dass ich mit ihm in einer normaler Tonlage spreche, ebenso seine Laute imitiere und ihn nicht kontinuierlich auffordere mir Dinge wie ein Papagei nachzuplappern. Ich frage ihn auch nicht permanent, was das oder jenes ist und dennoch freue ich mich, wie wohl jede Mutter, wenn er etwas sagt, das vielleicht tatsächlich etwas in unserer Sprache bedeutet. Muss ich deshalb lautstark applaudieren und ihn mit Küssen überhäufen und wild gestikulierend schreien: ‘’nochmal, nochmal, nochmal!” Nein, sicherlich nicht. Es ist für mich schon ermüdend, solche Szenen als Außenstehender zu beobachten, wie sollte ich das dann selbst in die Tat umsetzen? Ich fühle mich oft ein wenig verwirrt und ungemütlich, wenn ich auf Eltern treffe, die auf eine solche Weise mit ihren Kindern sprechen. Ich bemerke, wie ich mich oft zurück nehme und mir viele Fragen stelle und mich auch selbst in Frage stelle. Gruppendruck nennt man das wohl. 🙂 Continue reading

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The unfinished red

Red belly

I was rehearsing for a few weeks in the milk bar and created an improvised wonderful little piece of art. Unfortunately, there will be no public showing. There was just that one day where I performed it to myself. My belly is about to deflate and the magic and insight I felt while performing is lost and remembered forever.

I wish I could work on it more, I wish I knew how to work on it more, I wish I knew how to make an evening length show with all the pieces I created, performed and in addition materialize some of my ever burning and changing ideas. I wish I knew how to be persistent, excited and persevered in developing my art. The truth is, I don’t know how. As soon as I try to dive more into one of my pieces, I lose interest and meet resistance. I meet meaninglessness, boredom and doubt. I want to break through that resistance but I also honor it and understand its source.

Until this very moment the only place where I can stay with that is in between. In between acceptance and anger. Sometimes that is a very good place to be. Inspiring and thriving. In other times it feels depressing, sad and lonely. I guess the way out of that dilemma is finding an intention of why I want to perform. A real, honest and clear reason or at least one I believe in.

In the ‘unfinished red’ I recited that the first few months of pregnancy were at times so irritating because I was surprised about the lack of obvious side-effects, but especially about the lack of emotions. I realized I was judging the harmony this baby and I seemed to have found immediately…
After I said these words, I danced a duet with the little sprout that is growing inside of me. A duet that was entirely co-created in the spirit of collaborating and guiding equally. It was (and still is!) such a pleasure and loving experience to feel the impulses from inside and transfering them to the external world.

 

Toys are babies

Ok people, let’s get it out there for everyone publicly. I am pregnant and I am feeling super relaxed, already for more than 7 months. A few days ago I had to have my first trip to “Toys are Babies” and I am sure you know the official name of that incredible store. It was a terrible, surprising, irritating, flabbergasting and funny experience. Besides, definitely a lesson about what NOT to buy.

I give you some examples: Here we have a row of ridiculous little machines for babies. I think they call them ‘jumpers’. All have different sound effects, various vibrating possibilities, mirrors, flying suns, moons and monsters, installed robot children songs and probably some of them even some light variations. I don’t remember. These things are terrifying, not even to mention the ugly plastic aesthetics and these bullying colors. One of them is called: Evenflo ExerSaucer Jump and Learn Jumper Jungle Quest Activity Center!
Do I have to say more?

Exersaucer

Exersaucer

No we continue to a diaper rocket, that “locks the odor”! It is antimicrobial, has a double clamp air-lock, a 5 layer refill bag and a convenient foot pedal. When I saw it, I thought it looksvlike a rocket that actually can shoot all the detested little diapers out into the universe.

Diaper rocket

Diaper rocket

Here we have an ‘easy expression bustier’ which makes hands-free pumping easier. It gives the freedom to do other things, is compatible with most breastpumps, is easy to wear, to wash and the material blends on its own or over a nursing bra or carnisole (I don’t even know what that is!)

Hands free

Hands free

The Belly bar boost. On the box it really says: “Our babies need chocolate”, recommended and checked by gynecologists. Who had thought that?!

photo 4

I was really surprised about this one!!! If someone had told me that you can buy a digital prenatal listening system in a conventional baby store, I would not have believed it. But there is a market for expecting parents that want to listen heart-to-heart. I was standing quite awhile in front of that product and had to smile. If somebody gave it to me, I would give it a try and do some experiments!

Listening together

Listening together

Heart shaped bamboodies in light pink! A must for nursing mothers!

bamboddies

bamboddies 

After I digested my first impression in the land of baby equipment, I truly wish, that I don’t have to buy much there. I hope to be as improvisational with starting a family as I am with living my life.

 

A saga

For all mothers and fathers and for all almost fathers and mothers. For grandmothers and grandfathers and for the nearly ones. For the mothers’ and fathers’ kids, aunts, uncles, sisters and brothers. For nieces, nephews and their friends, maybe even for neighbors, teachers and especially for all babysitters and psychologists! But basically it is for everyone that has a question about “how to Make a Baby.”

It is also for my mother in law Arlyn who sent it to me while I was sick.

It is hilarious isn’t it?

This is a pregnancy saga of Sandra Denis and Patrice Laroche which denounces all the traditional cabbage and the stork stories.  Continue reading