The unfinished red

Red belly

I was rehearsing for a few weeks in the milk bar and created an improvised wonderful little piece of art. Unfortunately, there will be no public showing. There was just that one day where I performed it to myself. My belly is about to deflate and the magic and insight I felt while performing is lost and remembered forever.

I wish I could work on it more, I wish I knew how to work on it more, I wish I knew how to make an evening length show with all the pieces I created, performed and in addition materialize some of my ever burning and changing ideas. I wish I knew how to be persistent, excited and persevered in developing my art. The truth is, I don’t know how. As soon as I try to dive more into one of my pieces, I lose interest and meet resistance. I meet meaninglessness, boredom and doubt. I want to break through that resistance but I also honor it and understand its source.

Until this very moment the only place where I can stay with that is in between. In between acceptance and anger. Sometimes that is a very good place to be. Inspiring and thriving. In other times it feels depressing, sad and lonely. I guess the way out of that dilemma is finding an intention of why I want to perform. A real, honest and clear reason or at least one I believe in.

In the ‘unfinished red’ I recited that the first few months of pregnancy were at times so irritating because I was surprised about the lack of obvious side-effects, but especially about the lack of emotions. I realized I was judging the harmony this baby and I seemed to have found immediately…
After I said these words, I danced a duet with the little sprout that is growing inside of me. A duet that was entirely co-created in the spirit of collaborating and guiding equally. It was (and still is!) such a pleasure and loving experience to feel the impulses from inside and transfering them to the external world.

 

Toys are babies

Ok people, let’s get it out there for everyone publicly. I am pregnant and I am feeling super relaxed, already for more than 7 months. A few days ago I had to have my first trip to “Toys are Babies” and I am sure you know the official name of that incredible store. It was a terrible, surprising, irritating, flabbergasting and funny experience. Besides, definitely a lesson about what NOT to buy.

I give you some examples: Here we have a row of ridiculous little machines for babies. I think they call them ‘jumpers’. All have different sound effects, various vibrating possibilities, mirrors, flying suns, moons and monsters, installed robot children songs and probably some of them even some light variations. I don’t remember. These things are terrifying, not even to mention the ugly plastic aesthetics and these bullying colors. One of them is called: Evenflo ExerSaucer Jump and Learn Jumper Jungle Quest Activity Center!
Do I have to say more?

Exersaucer

Exersaucer

No we continue to a diaper rocket, that “locks the odor”! It is antimicrobial, has a double clamp air-lock, a 5 layer refill bag and a convenient foot pedal. When I saw it, I thought it looksvlike a rocket that actually can shoot all the detested little diapers out into the universe.

Diaper rocket

Diaper rocket

Here we have an ‘easy expression bustier’ which makes hands-free pumping easier. It gives the freedom to do other things, is compatible with most breastpumps, is easy to wear, to wash and the material blends on its own or over a nursing bra or carnisole (I don’t even know what that is!)

Hands free

Hands free

The Belly bar boost. On the box it really says: “Our babies need chocolate”, recommended and checked by gynecologists. Who had thought that?!

photo 4

I was really surprised about this one!!! If someone had told me that you can buy a digital prenatal listening system in a conventional baby store, I would not have believed it. But there is a market for expecting parents that want to listen heart-to-heart. I was standing quite awhile in front of that product and had to smile. If somebody gave it to me, I would give it a try and do some experiments!

Listening together

Listening together

Heart shaped bamboodies in light pink! A must for nursing mothers!

bamboddies

bamboddies 

After I digested my first impression in the land of baby equipment, I truly wish, that I don’t have to buy much there. I hope to be as improvisational with starting a family as I am with living my life.

 

The pretty happy New World, What the heck!

Terrasse de café. Paris, vers 1925.Photo: Maurice Louis Branger

Many people ask me: “What the heck are you doing in the pretty happy New World.” First of all, the pretty happy New World is not always pretty and certainly not always happy.  But it is definitely exciting and interesting to live here in the Bay Area in between lots of somatic-spiritual-psychological awareness, that keeps everyone extremely busy!

But again: “What the heck am I doing here?”
I start with my New Year’s resolutions for 2013. They were simple:

  • Go earlier to bed,
  • Get a job that pays me well,
  • And do some arty projects.

The result so far: I rarely make it to bed before 12am, I don’t have a job that pays me well, but I do some arty projects and extremely enjoy collaborating with Giselle and Mary. Continue reading

A saga

For all mothers and fathers and for all almost fathers and mothers. For grandmothers and grandfathers and for the nearly ones. For the mothers’ and fathers’ kids, aunts, uncles, sisters and brothers. For nieces, nephews and their friends, maybe even for neighbors, teachers and especially for all babysitters and psychologists! But basically it is for everyone that has a question about “how to Make a Baby.”

It is also for my mother in law Arlyn who sent it to me while I was sick.

It is hilarious isn’t it?

This is a pregnancy saga of Sandra Denis and Patrice Laroche which denounces all the traditional cabbage and the stork stories.  Continue reading