Photo: Maurice Louis Branger

Many people ask me: “What the heck are you doing in the pretty happy New World.” First of all, the pretty happy New World is not always pretty and certainly not always happy.  But it is definitely exciting and interesting to live here in the Bay Area in between lots of somatic-spiritual-psychological awareness, that keeps everyone extremely busy!

But again: “What the heck am I doing here?”
I start with my New Year’s resolutions for 2013. They were simple:

• Go earlier to bed,
• Get a job that pays me well,
• And do some arty projects.

The result so far: I rarely make it to bed before 12am, I don’t have a job that pays me well, but I do some arty projects and extremely enjoy collaborating with Giselle and Mary.

In addition:
I take Sara’s classes twice a week, host the Tuesday evening Jam and coordinate the teachers for the pre-Jam class. I repair precious rugs with a friend of mine that is another inspiring woman. I teach German, clean the house of an overwhelmed mother, have a few Breema clients, prepare for my Breema certificate, should prepare for my Californian driving licence, participate in a Bodytales group and go happily dancing a couple of nights a week. Ah, and I filled out another united states federal government form: The SS-5, to finally get my social security number.

But there is one big question: What should I really be doing?

Many ideas are flipping over in my mind and there are always many sides and perspectives to the flips they are taking. I am going to present to you my two favorite ideas:

1) Opening a café. But not just a simple café. I am imagining a collaborating concept. A perfect sweet little place in combination with another business, maybe a shop with pre- and post-pregnancy clothes. Apparently it is difficult to find sexy good-looking nursing outfits and I observe that pregnant women and mothers have mostly always time to drink a cup of coffee. Besides, they like to hang out in social places where they meet other moms and can exchange their experiences. A place where they can socialize, feel welcome, learn, complain, gossip and enjoy being not alone in the beautiful and challenging realm of being a mother. But I also would like to offer gatherings for fathers, surely not over a cup of coffee, but maybe whilst playing tabletop soccer or playing cards. There should be much more support for fathers! I met several fathers (and heard some mothers talk about their partners) that have never ever talked with anyone about their traumatic and/or dramatic birthing experience of their child. Suddenly their duty is to support the mothers and the whole family, especially in the beginning of their fatherhood. There is not much room for dealing with deeply anchored material that might have come up. I am sure a lot of men would benefit from a father to father initiative kind of thing. Though, I would have to find a male partner to start something like that. A woman (me) is not credible enough to lead a men’s group.

2) Combining my love for giving Breema sessions with a “counseling” hour afterwards. I experienced several very lovely encounters giving this kind of  bodywork that is based on body-mind connection. It is a meditation together and in my experience a perfect entry to find more clarity in other life dimensions as well. After a physical journey together, the  atmosphere changes, trust is deepening and openness is available. It is stunning, exciting and relaxing at the same time. I feel awareness rising and particular ways to deal with harsh situations seem to be easier to meet. It is wonderful and for both people extremely pleasant to be with each other.

You might ask now: “Why the heck don’t you start?”

First of all, the café idea is extremely complex. In order to do it right, it needs a lot of preparation. I should start working in a café and get knowledgeable about licenses, investing, contracts, staff, insurances, I should understand what is necessary to comply with legal requirements etc…AND in fact, I would need to commit to a location for a long time AND work a lot. Long term projects are not one of my strengths, neither is planning years in advance. Dancing would be extremely hard to let go as I probably would have to change it with working my butt off in the next years.

Rajendra suggested that I write a book about all the ideas I have for my imaginary café. One chapter every day about another little detail, another business collaboration, another delicious dish I would serve, the music I would play, the people I would meet, the cake I would bake, the stories I would hear, the name I would give it, the drink I would invent… Maybe he is right and I should begin.